Day 9: Is it just me or is it depressing today?

Day 9 was something unusual. My bowels hated me when I woke up this morning (TMI!). I was almost miserable with the cramping. I decided to forgo breakfast, especially since I woke up too late to prepare and eat it. I actually woke up late for work as well.

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When I got to work, I still felt drained, but it wasn't quite as bad as it was the previous days. I was hoping beyond hope that I would get out of this slump and funk that I'm feeling because I am so tired. I was craving some coffee with good amaretto creamer, but I kept away from the employee kitchen.

Lunch was leftover italian chicken with zoodles and an apple. It was still good the next day, maybe even better! I kept having people ask me what I was eating and when I told them, they wanted the recipe. I was more than happy since it's a simple recipe.

Lunch was also when I had to listen to a woman who is trying to lose weight (she told me her weight, but I will keep that to myself for dignity purposes) and so she's eating those lean cuisines and sugar-free drinks (EW!). She talked about her lack of willpower when it comes to pastries. Her description of the cinnamon roll was vivid. I kept wondering if she was trying to sabotage my week of clean eating or if she was just that way. She also talked about how she was on weight watchers and lost a lot of weight, but gained it back because she simply could not live without X, Y, and Z. Again, she described in detail what those foods were and one was a favorite of mine (pizza!!!). I tried to ignore her and go back to my book, but she kept talking regardless. I tried to change the conversation, but it always came back to food. I almost walked out without finishing my lunch.

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I worked some more after lunch. I kept my routine samples until after lunch so that I would have at least something to do. It wasn't much, but it kept me busy. When I am not busy, I start to think about finances and job searching. I am pretty sure that your employer looks down on you when you search for a job on their time (actually, I know). I am obsessive over my situation and I'm getting depressed. Thoughts such as "I won't get a job ever" to "I'm always going to be poor" kept running through my head. Part of me is still regretful that I didn't take the job in the spring.

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After work, I went to the yarn store and got to see some of my good friends. I was still a little down due to my thoughts (could this diet also have a "depression" part to it?) so I didn't talk much. Also, I keep feeling that one person in particular was being a snot to me still. I livened up near the end and talked outside in the parking lot with my usual suspects. I truly missed their company, just the drama of the yarn store and the inconvenience of our schedules has kept us apart for so long.

Dinner was around 9:30 which was extra late for me. I had those zucchini pesto roll-ups with sausage. They were good, but the pesto just wasn't doing it. My zucchini also wasn't happy. Maybe I am started to go into the "ugh, so tired of this diet" phase.

I took a shower and went straight to bed. I read for about 20 minutes, allowing my brain to think of something other than diets, finances, or jobs. I slept horribly though. Not sure if it was my brain, my back which has been killing me, or just nothing in particular.

I hope that eventually I will have the Tiger Blood. I miss energy.

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-- Yersinia

P.S. Sorry about lack of pictures.